How can you gain Influence?

If we are aware of it or not, we all try to influence others all the time. The parent might want his child to do as he tells him to, but he just doesn’t seem to listen. The sales person might want to influence the client in buying his product. The wife might want to influence the husband to go to a nice and sunny place on holiday. Everyday we try to influence others or are influenced by others. That’s why I believe we all should be more aware of this fact and understand the concept of Influence.

First we need to understand the building blocks which all together allow you to have influence. But for that, it is important to understand what influence is NOT:

  • Influence is NOT automatic.

Nobody has automatically influence. A father cannot just walk into a child’s room and expect to be able to influence his child to do what he wants him to do. You are NOT automatically able to influence your child just because you are the father. All parents know this does not work. You need to understand at what stage in his life your child is, what are his problems, his concerns, his motivation and what he needs right now. Only if the child feels your attachment and your understanding of his needs will he be open to you and allow himself to be influenced by you.

  • Influence is NOT sporadic

If you never care about your child and then one day decide to be extra nice and understanding in order to influence your child, you most likely won’t be very successful. Your child will probably block you off completely, because he doesn’t trust this changed person. Only if your child sees you as the caring person, attentive to his interests, will the child stay open.

Once you understand that, you understand the principle of Influence.

Now lets have a look at the building blocks of influence:

  • Awareness

You need to be aware of the needs and life’s of the people around you. Where is the person you want to influence right now and what do they need right now? When you speak to them show your interest and ask questions like:

What is it that is very important in your life?

What do you want right now?

Being aware of the people around you, their needs, ideas, problems, creates a binding relationship which opens the doors to influence. You are far more likely to trust and follow a person that understands you and accepts you (Influence)

  • Presence

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who had nothing better to do then look at his phone all the time? Then you know what I mean with presence. You need to be present with the people around you. Be there, not somewhere else in your mind. Don’t play with your phone while talking to them. Beside this being very disrespectful, it does not show your interest. It is your energy that opens people up, your energy counts. But energy can only come over if you are actually there, with your mind, your soul and your attention. The way you bring over the energy relates directly to the level of influence.

  • Generosity

We need to be generous with the ones we want to influence. What we give is what we get! Invest some time into the people important to you, put some effort and energy into the relationship and you will receive the same back. People do notice your efforts and if they are real, they have a real effect on them. As more positive energy you put into this as more openness you will receive back. Have some patience and understand their way and doors are opening up. As more natural this becomes for you as more influential you will be.

  • Value

Why would someone want to follow your lead or buy from you? Is what you offer distinct and significant to the other person? How can I improve that value in the short and long-term? If you want someone to do something, they must see the value and understand why they are doing it. Only if they see the value and therefor want to do it, they are going to do it. This is an important factor when creating new products or services you want to sell. Coming up with new ideas or improving existing ideas creates a distinct new value!

  • Character

Character is who you are over a period of time. Character defines trust. Remember, what you do is what you are! That is character. People can feel who you are, they can read your character. They can see if you are just pretending or if you live what you say. We all have a sort of antenna for it. Yes it is true, that some people can cover up their real intentions and pretend to be someone else, but that only works for a very short period of time and after that, the person loses all his credibility and power of influence. For long-term influence you must be who you say you are. How have you demonstrated character to the people you want to influence? When was the last time?

  • Consistency

This is very important. Are you with all the points above consistent? Life is about being consistency in constant change. Because of the constant change we look for consistency. Your health is the sum of your consistency. Are you consistently eat healthy? Consistency is the amplifier of influence. As more consistency you show and act on the points above, as more influence you will have. Be consistent with all the building blocks towards the people around you and your influence will go through the roof!

Lets sum it up:

  • Influence is NOT automatic and NOT sporadic!
  • The 6 building blocks of Influence are Awareness, Presence, Generosity, Value, Character and Consistency

Throughout our lives we interact in average with 125 people directly as close friends or family and we have contact with several thousand other people. All of those we try to influence or are influenced by. That puts understanding influence in the top range of skills everyone should have.

Take back your Agenda

Take back your Agenda

Stop, relax for a moment…..

In your mind, go through all the things you’ve done today.

Has any of this brought you any nearer to your goal or dream?

If you can’t answer this with a clear “Yes”, you are doing something wrong. If the first thing you do in the morning is looking at your emails or messages, you need to step back and rethink your life.

Every day gives you the possibility to get one step nearer to the things you want, but to achieve this you need a plan of action. You need to know what you are going to do today towards your dream. This can only be done by you taking action, planned action.

Looking at emails or messages from others is just a re-action based on actions from others and never planned.

I am not saying you shouldn’t check your mail or messages, but they should not define what you are going to do today.

When you get up in the morning, you need to have a clear vision of all the things you are going to do today and at night when you go to bed, you should have this great feeling that you’ve done something towards your dream (whatever that might be). Only then are you in control of your life.

Take back your Agenda and stop living your day based on other people’s decisions. Plan your day and execute your plan. Be yourself, be authentic and enjoy the freedom this will give you.

There are just too many people looking back every day, having nothing achieved and frustrated with their life. Don’t be one of them, but take your life into your own hands. Be excited about the days to come and get up with a smile in the morning, knowing that tonight you will be that bit nearer to your dream.

Be authentic, be alive.

You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great (Zig Ziglar)

If you like this post have a look at this one:

The Lie Of Multitasking

How to get motivated?

How to get motivated?

Have you ever felt really motivated about something?

If you ever been in love, you certainly know what I am talking about. This internal drive that lets you move mountains, that lets you do things you never thought possible. And whatever is thrown at you, you take it with a smile and you still keep going. Such an amazing feeling.

So if people ask me how I get the motivation to do all the things I am doing, I can whole-heartedly reply:

I am in love with it, it’s that simple

While I investigated motivation over the years I came to the conclusion that it is nothing else then me making a decision to fall in love with it. That brings it down to making a decision and as Brendon Burchard describes it: The mother of all motivation is choice.

It is a question of choice to be motivated about something. You just have to make a choice and decide what your next big thing will be. Fall in love with it. Embrace it and challenge yourself.

To be more concrete: Once you decided what your new venture will be, you need to make a conscious choice to love your future. You want to be a part of it, explore it, challenge it and yourself. You want to proof that you are the best for it. You don’t compare it with anything else. It is the optimum. That’s what motivation is about.

If you feel something is missing and you can’t get going, fall in love with it.

I wish you all a loving time 🙂

The Idea

The Idea

As an entrepreneur you love the challenge of the new, the amazing feeling when an Idea turns into reality. It is like a rush and sometimes it’s like falling in love. You just jump into it and let yourself swoosh away.

You don’t really know much about it. It’s all new after all and in a way you hope for the best and already see yourself as the successful entrepreneur, all wishes fulfilled and a happy bunny all around. What a great dream. 😉

While this kind of passion can be very exhilarating, motivating and can give you a lot of energy, if you want this to be more then a dream, you need to have a plan, some direction and you should take your time to get this right.

Mostly it starts with an idea. You see something, hear something or done something you think could be a great business idea. You pitch it to your friends and describe it in all colours and you have an answer or a solution for every “but” they might throw in. You get highly excited and frustrated at the same time as you can’t understand why not everyone thinks the same way then you do.

Lots of people have many ideas, but if you want to find out if your idea has a chance in the world you need to learn to speak to people about it and to listen to what they have to say. You need to learn to filter out the information that can help and to see how your idea reflects with other people (your possible clients). Google it and find out as much as you can. Depending on your circumstances this should not take longer then a few days and you either “know” it will work or it won’t.

Describe the idea from all angles, define for who it is, why they need it, what makes your idea stand out. Bring your idea alive, out of the dream world into the real world. Now pitch it again to your friends and see their reaction. They can be a great indicator in what you are going to face.