What is the right decision?

What is the right decision?

How often did you ask yourself this question?

How do you know whatever you decide is the right decision?

Lets take an example:
Imagine it is Thursday afternoon. You’ve planned to go with your partner to the cinema to see the latest movie. You both have been waiting for that day all week and you are quite excited about it, when your boss comes into your office and tells you something about an important meeting the next morning and he would need your help to prepare everything. That would mean for you to work longer and to have to cancel the cinema. What would you decide to do? Would you tell your boss that you can’t stay because you’ve planned already something else or would you call your partner and cancel the trip to the cinema?

I guess this would depend very much on your focus in life. If you are very partner centric, you would not want your partner to be disappointed, because your partner has a higher value in your life then your work.
If you are more work centric, you would not want your boss to be disappointed and probably think that staying on might be your opportunity to get the long awaited raise or higher position.

Of course in this scenario you only have 2 options, you either stay or you go. However, the reason for that decision is the most important part and neither of the above scenarios give a good reason. Because if you decide either way, your decision is based on someone else and on the way they might feel or act on. This would mean you make decisions not because of your belief what is the right thing to do, but because of the consequences based on another person.

Lets take a more clearer example. Let’s say you are a judge and you have to decide on a difficult case. What would you base your decision on? Would you base it on how one of the parties might think of you or would you base it on the principles of the law? I guess every good judge would base it on principles of the law. I think we can all agree that without the law or some good principles a good and just decision is not possible as you wouldn’t be able to measure it in any way. Beside that, who would trust a judge that makes his decisions on the way he feels?

This should give you the answer to the question “What is the right decision?”
The right decision is one which is based on sound and clear principles! So if you have no principles in your life, maybe it is time to think about it. What do you stand for and you believe in?
Once you establish your own principles and act on them, decision making will be so much easier and you will appear so much clearer and stronger and be more respected by all the people around you.

Write your own constitution and start making the right decisions!

A question of perspective

A question of perspective

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with one of my friends about a specific subject I’ve studied for a few years. He too had studied this subject for quite a while, so I was interested in his opinion and views. In our discussion it quickly appeared that we had complete different views on the same subject and neither of us could understand the other ones point of view. After a while we both had to agree to disagree and left it at that.
Have you ever been in that situation?
Well if you have you probably understand how frustrating this can be. It is like saying this cup is blue, while the other one says the cup is yellow. But you can see the blue cup, so what is his point?

While pondering over that discussion I had, trying to understand my friends point of view, I remembered something I read a while ago.

Have a look at the picture.
What do you see?

If I had to describe the picture, I would do as follows:

I see a lovely young woman
Facing away from me
She has long blond hair
and wears a black necklace
She has small ears and a petite nose

Can you see it?
I could go on, but I think you get the gist.

What if I tell you that this is actually an old woman with a very large hook-like nose and a very large chin and piercing eyes?
She also has long blond hair, but has no necklace, but a large thin-lipped mouth.

Can you see it?

Let me tell you, whatever picture you see, you are correct.
If we would have a discussion about this picture, we would both talk in its basis about something completely different and we both would believe that we are absolutely right.
It all depends on your perspective!

Next time you have a discussion with someone and you just can’t get their point of view, make sure you are talking about the same thing and open your eyes to other possibilities.