If you Google the question “Are you worried about your future?” you will come across many different ideas. Most of them relate to things like “Embrace the uncertainty” or “Trust in yourself”, with various explanations why this is so good.
For whatever reason, these kind of statements never really helped me to deal with my worries. My worries are real and they can’t just be talked away, not in the long term anyway.
In my experience worrying has a lot to do with control. If you can control a situation, you are far less likely to be worried about it. So control seems to be a major player.
But there are lots of people which are not worried, not even about the things they can’t control. Why is that?
I guess some just don’t care and avoid thinking about it, occupying themselves with everything, but the problem ahead.
Then there are the confident ones, who come up with 20 solutions in an instant and feel comfortable believing that one of the solution will fit when it comes to it.
I did count myself into these two categories on equal levels. Depending on my state of mind, I did either try not to think about it or got some comfort out of pretending to have a solution (not really believing it, though).
Not thinking about it is actually quite difficult. The worry seems to have the ability to crop up in the most unlikely moments, forcing me to do something to push it away. That is time consuming and doesn’t get me anywhere. This has never really worked for me and actually did cost me many sleepless nights, trouble in my relationships and countless other issues.
That leaves us with the control part.
In reality it is very rare that anyone is able to really control a situation in the future. You can’t control if you get a pension or not. You can’t control if you child will get the great job he deserves. Most things in our lives are out of our control. But one thing is clear, control seems to be the answer.
If you look which parts in your life you have the biggest control over, you will discover that you have the biggest control over the things you do yourself.
I also discovered that doing things I can control, reduces the pressure the other worries are creating. And that is a good thing, because it leaves me with more energy.
The real question now is: How can I have a real impact into my future using the one thing I can control?
My answer to this is following:
- Be the best you can possibly be in whatever it is you do!
- Educate yourself to improve your life to the max.
- Learn and practice how to be the best.
Use whatever control you have in your own life over yourself and be. This does it all. It brings you renewed trust in yourself, generates masses amount of energy, gets the attention of everyone else and that way changes things.
All you need to think about now is in what you want to put your energy in.
I guess it is like riding a bicycle. If you see a hole in the road ahead and you look at it, the chance that you’re going to ride straight in it is quite high. Which seems to indicate that whatever you concentrate on has a very high chance to happen. However, this part you can control. You decide where to look to. It might be difficult at the beginning, specially if you trained yourself to spot the holes, but you can choose to watch a comedy instead of a drama on TV. Start with that.
If your job is to cut the grass, become the best grass cutter there is
If your job involves driving a car, become the best car driver in existence.
Just one more thing: Become the best in whatever you do because you decided to be it. The decision has to be yours, otherwise you’re not in control.
In what are you going to be in control of?