We all know that what ever we focus on we use our energy on. That sparks the question:
“Do you focus on the right things?”
Often I catch myself creating these NEGA-stories (NEGAtive-stories). These are the worst case scenario stories I play through my head in order to prepare myself just in case they come true. I am not really sure why I am doing this, but it started when I was a kid at school and has been a part of my life ever since.
I always thought that I am bit strange in that field but over the years I found out that I am not alone with this. I’ve met so many that go through the same process every day, it’s scary actually.
In a way it’s the opposite of falling in love, where you see all the positive things.
If you become really good at your NEGA-stories, this process actually might make you feel better. You just feel prepared. You’ve gone through all options you can think of and made yourself come out good every time. Even so, some of the scenarios you go through are absolutely impossible.
The problem with this NEGA-story process is that you spend a lot of time concentrating on the wrong things. This process is quite exhausting and doesn’t leave you much energy for all the great things. I did become aware of this about 20 years ago when I started to listen to Tony Robbins and his ideas about focus. I realised then that I am doing something wrong, that I could be so much better if I could just concentrate on the things I want to do.
Around that time I started to work with different forms of meditation. I enjoyed it while I was meditating, but it didn’t really impact my NEGA-story process. So I decided instead of changing my behaviour to find a way to use it to focus on the right thing. I was already very good at it, so it seemed to be a good thing to try out. First I created some ground rules. I wanted to make sure that each story ends with a positive outcome for everyone involved. I also decided on several points that should never happen in my stories. Things like, nobody should ever be harmed or feel bad, myself included.
I also create and update a list of all the goals I want to focus on and try to integrate one or more into any of the stories. At the beginning it was quite difficult, but after a few month it started to be fun.
Have you ever had a fight with your partner where in your head you were already planning the break-up but then changed the outcome to fall in love again with exactly the same person? A ground-breaking and life-changing experience, I promise you!
If you are like me a truly professional internal story teller, then don’t try to shut yourself up. Use that power instead to create and influence the real world by focusing on the things that are really important. You are in control.
So let me ask again:
Are you focusing on the right thing?