How To Design Yourself

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Are you happy with the way you are? Not just the way you look but also the way you behave, think and present yourself?

If you think you’re born like this, let me tell you that this not true. The reason you are what you are is that you worked all your life really hard to become exactly what you are today. You developed yourself into your today’s you by doing the things you’ve done and thought over your life so far and the end result is you as you are now. You created little rituals and repeated them over and over until they became you. You thought about things in a specific way over and over again until it became your way of thinking.

For most this is an uncontrolled development process which leads to a result: You

The really good thing is, that if you are the one who created yourself, you are the one who can reprogram and change the result. You can design your own you in any way you like. It’s completely in your control.

But how do you do this?

You do exactly what you’ve done so far. You just take control of the process. You become clear about the person you want to be and you start to create the little rituals that get you there and repeat them over and over again. It’s that easy.
The more difficult part is in the decision to take control of your development process and to decide on the desired result.

Let’s take a few simple examples to make the point.
When I started my career as a coach, speaker, and video maker I was often in positions where I had talked a lot. I had this strange way of talking really fast and I also had what people call Jazz Hands. That means I would talk with my hands, which in itself isn’t bad, but only works if the hands are in line with what you say.

This wasn’t the case and my gestures were more confusing than helping. I started watching others and went out my way to learn how the best in the business do it. Since then I was able to use my hand movements to my advantage which made me so much better on stage or on video.

Have you ever fell in love with the way someone walks or how someone reacts to certain things. By watching out for such things you can create your own persona. Just take the things that really positively stick out in others and learn how to implement those in yourself.

Learn how to walk the way you like to walk, talk the way you like to talk and think the way you like to think. It isn’t about copying others, but taking the best of others and making it part of you. It’s about growing to become the person you want to be.

A few years ago I met someone who spoke in a way that he captivated the people around him. Not just with what he said but with the way he said it. The way he used his voice to create tension, highlighted the important things, asked questions and made statements.

It was incredible. When I asked him how he does this, he told me that he takes voice lessons and participates in speaker training on a regular basis. I was hooked and started my own training. Today I use a few words to say the things that took me hundreds of words before and I am understood because I became so much better in communicating with others and myself.

We are all incredible creatures able to design ourselves in any way we want if we want.
If you ever wished to be different, be different and create yourself the way you like to be. Do this with little controlled steps and repeat them over and over again while watching out for the results. That’s all it takes.
You are the most important thing in your life. Treat yourself like that and start to design you.

How is your future you going to be?

John Di Stefano

An entrepreneur at heart and founder of the Entrepreneur Academy in Brussels, Belgium. He is teaching and supporting entrepreneurs in the skills every entrepreneur needs to create a better life for themselves and the people around them.

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