If I learned anything in life it’s to ask if I want something. If I don’t ask, nobody knows that I might need it. For many people, asking for something seems to be a big issue. They believe that asking is like begging – and if they eventually get it they will never hear the end of it.
But asking goes much further than that. Setting goals is asking yourself for whatever your goal is. You ask yourself for the effort and determination to achieve your goal. Setting a goal is the art of creating the right question that makes you move.
It’s the same with everyone else. Asking is an art form and, if done correctly, one of the best ways to develop and maintain personal and business relationships.
There is also the fear of rejection. We believe that if we get a ‘No’, people don’t like us anymore. Of course it happens. We don’t always get what we want. But what is the alternative? What is your chance to get what you want if you don’t ask? Most likely, zero. But what is your chance if you ask? Most likely, 50%!
Which do you prefer?
Learn the art of asking
If you have something to sell you have to ask your customer at one point if he wants to buy it. If you don’t do that, you won’t sell. It’s that simple really. But for many, asking is something they don’t do. They wait until someone offers it to them. I am not sure how that should work if nobody knows what they want.
If you struggle with asking for help or whatever it is you need, you should train yourself in the art of asking. It starts with identifying what it is that you really need. For a sales person it’s clear, but in personal matters it tends to be really difficult. We talk around the issue not really knowing what it is we need or want. If you don’t know it, how can anyone else?
Once you’re clear what it is you want, you need to design a set of questions that not only asks but also explains the ‘Why’ and ‘How’. You might know that already, because in your mind you went through a process to get there, but the others don’t. You need to get them to the same point. Check out my blog How To Get Almost Anything You Want for some examples on creating good questions.
In my experience if you ask good questions people want to help you. They even feel good doing so. How cool is that? You get what you want and they feel good. Perfect.
Learn the art of asking and become clear about your motives and the value you are willing to give – and your life will become so much easier.
If you’ve read the blog up to here, then you’re clearly intrigued to learn more about the art of asking. So let me ask you:
Do you want to learn more about the art of asking?