The Real Reasons Why You Struggle

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Let’s face it – we all have our moments when things don’t work out. Many people have those moments quite often, and when it gets too much, they start questioning their paths, their ideas and their lives in general.

I know about this only too well. It took me over 20 years of struggle until I got the point. Every time I spiralled down, it took an extraordinary amount of energy to get myself out of it. Nobody can do this for a long time without burning out. There is only so much we can muster before we give in.

The reason you’re reading this article is very likely because you struggle and you are desperately looking for a way out. If that’s the case – then maybe my experience can help you to figure it out!

Going round in circles

When I was in my twenties, I had these superhuman moments. I came up with all these ideas, and I went straight for it. Some of my plans worked out, and some didn’t. But whatever I started, after while I just got bored with it. For the following two decades, I was continually searching for the next big thing, jumping from one opportunity to the next without ever feeling it.

You know the thing that makes you smile and feel good – that feeling of content and happiness. Sometimes I thought I had it, but after a short time it was gone, and I was back where I started; right at the beginning.

Every time I had to start again – and it became harder and harder. My ideas became flatter and less exciting until I just wanted to be okay.

Drifting through life

I thought that I was alright. My business was doing okay. I had a relationship going alongside my business. I just lived a middle-class life without any excitement or ups and downs.

Until I met a cousin of mine, who I hadn’t seen for almost 20 years. We started talking until she came out with the question: ‘What happened to you? Where has my cousin gone? You know, the cousin with all those ideas who couldn’t be stopped by anything?’

It hit me. What happened to this guy?

This thought didn’t let go of me for a few months. I couldn’t sleep properly – and I felt like a real loser, disappointed with my life and myself.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about this at the time. It was too embarrassing. How did this happen?

If this is something you can relate to, read on.

The spark of change

One day I came across a video on YouTube from an event by Tony Robbins. He was talking about all the things I was struggling with and said that it is easy to change these anytime you like. I was hooked. I wanted to know more.

I devoured everything I could find about him – and I would have loved to go to the United States to attend one of his events. But there was no way I could afford this. My business needed me to be there, and I couldn’t speak to my partner about it as I still pretended that everything was great.

So I started to look around for people in my area who watch the same videos and have the same dreams. Eventually, I found one person not far from where I lived who I felt I could talk to. He had already been on the Tony Robbins path for quite a while and had changed a lot of things in his life for the better. We became really good friends and, with his help, I started to understand how to apply the things Tony talks about in his video to my life.

I slowly began to change my life, and it all started with this: decision time!

Return of the superhero

I learned that whatever it is I want to do or be I need to decide and commit on it. It has to be the first step.

I didn’t actually like my work much and it made my days miserable. The first step had to be to identify all the things I struggle with in life and give it a rating from 1 to 10.

The next step must be to decide which one is the important one to tackle.

The important part was not to change the things around me, but to change my perspective about them. For my work that meant to decide that whatever happens, I will love every moment and will approach it like this.

I decided to have happy workdays. This attitude changed almost everything. Whenever I was confronted by a miserable customer my job was to find the happy part in it. How can I turn this conversation into a happy one? What do I need to do within my power and business rules to have this customers leave with a smile on their face?

Creating a chain reaction

In the beginning, this was very difficult as I often fell back into my old habits. But after a while – and with my friend as an accountability buddy – I slowly improved and managed to deal with difficult situations better and better.

I slowly started expanding this experiment to other parts of my life and, without fail, my life turned into a much happier life. Friends and family started to see the change and loved the new me. It was and still is a great experience.

As I mentioned, it all started with the decision to live a happier life and by looking at my life from a different perspective. Like Tony says: ‘It is not the things that happen to you that shape your life, but how you react to the things that happen to you that will make the difference.”

Today, I know the reason I struggled was because at one stage I decided to look at my life from a depressing point of view. It happened slowly and without me realizing it. Once I became aware and decided to change it, my life turned around.

Even little changes make a big difference

Over the past 10 years, I’ve engineered many changes in my life.

  • I started to eat healthier food and lost a lot of weight
  • I exercise every morning without a struggle
  • The relationship with my life partner turned 180 degrees – and we both fell in love again

And now, my business is better than ever before and I have amazing plans for the future. I feel like 20 years old again!

All of this because of a decision I took 10 years ago after 20 years of struggle.

My advice to anyone who has had enough and is looking for change is this:

Stop searching. And instead, decide to become happy and to live a life worth living. Don’t worry about the details too much. Start with the most obvious and the rest will fall into place.

The real reason why you struggle is because deep inside, you decided to struggle. You decided to look at life as a struggle. There are so many examples out there of people who have gone through hell and managed to live a happy life against all odds. Why can’t you?

My team and I at the Entrepreneur Academy Europe are dedicated to supporting anyone who wants to make a serious change for the positive in their life. Get in touch and let us know how we can help you.

Make a decision!

John Di Stefano

An entrepreneur at heart and founder of the Entrepreneur Academy in Brussels, Belgium. He is teaching and supporting entrepreneurs in the skills every entrepreneur needs to create a better life for themselves and the people around them.

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